29 June 2007
25 June 2007
17 June 2007
15 June 2007
Don't Tease Old Ladies
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
11 June 2007
Man Can't Escape from Maiden Trap
well, this is actually a direct translation by the famous Chinese proverb which literally means that, a hero falls prey by the beauty of a virgin (so to speak)
09 June 2007
A Guide To Wear Female Condom
Obviously this is for the girls lah but it is good also for guys to know so that he can guide her lah...
First-first leh, tear the wrapper gently. Don't so rush scared that you will tear the condom as well. I know things already heat up...
Next, make sure to identify which one is the outer and inner ring lah. Mafoolat!! You just don't want to use it terbalik right!!
Then, squeeze-squeeze the inner ring a bit and it should be elastic a bit lah for easy insertion into your 'volvo'
Just ignore the female picture but concentrate on steps on how to insert the condom. Obviously, this condom only applicable for non-virgin already female lah...
Ok! X-Ray sideways on how does the condom looks like inside the 'volvo'
Ok! This is how it looks like after full insertion. You just don't feel anything at all as if you did not wear anything.
For inexperienced man (or men) that you may 'ahem-ahem' with, slowly bring his little brother closer to your pleasure cave. Make sure don't so fast thrust in or else you will spend an hour looking for a plastic bag inside your volvo and you definitely do not want to end up in the hospital for medical attention in this case!!!
Ok!! Kau tim liow all the whatever scene you may have with your man (or men). Make sure you roll-roll the condom when pulling it out from your 'volvo'. You do not want the 'Tau Foo Fah' to slide down to your hand right!!
Be a responsible citizen by disposing your used condom into the sanitary bin and not flush it in the toilet.
05 June 2007
Joke of The Day
Singapore Airlines
Mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from Singapore to New York. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes????"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the pretty flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogsand cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The little boy admitted that she did. Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Singapore Airlines always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you."
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Never Insult Your Wife
Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt isbigger than the barbecue." With that he proceeded to get a measuringtape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.
"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!!" The wife chooses to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, Ted is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-assgrill for one little sausage?"
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Innocence
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had neverbeen married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed acut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, andin the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could nolonger resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter??"
02 June 2007
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