Joke of the Day

Joke 1
A man is visiting his wife in the hospital where she has been in a coma for several weeks. On this visit, he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. Upon doing this, she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests the man rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan from his wife. He rushes out and tells the doctor. The doctor is amazed, calling this a real breakthrough. The doctor then suggests the man to go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside since this is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in, them comes out about 10 minutes later and tell the doctor his wife is dead.

The doctor asks, "What happened?"

To which the man replies,"She choked...."

Joke 2
Q: What is the most sensitive part of the body during masturbation?
A: Your ears - to listen to footsteps.

Joke 3
Q: Why are masturbation and procrastination the same thing?
A: Because either way you end up screwing yourself.

Joke 4
Two whales were swimming in the ocean. One of them notices a whaling ship up on the surface and says to the other.

"Hey, that looks like the same whaling ship thatgot our friend just the other day."

The other whale says, "I think you are right. I've got an idea. Let's go blow some bubbles underneath and tip the boat over."

Both whales agree and before long men are spilling into the ocean.

The first whale says, "Okay, let's have some more fun, and go eat some of those men."

The second whale replies, "I don't mind a good blow job but I draw a line at swallowing seamen...."

Joke 5
Ma and Pa are sitting on the front porch swing, rocking. Pa says to Ma, "Screw you Ma."

A minute goes by and Ma says, "Screw you Pa". Another minute goes by and Pa says, "Screw you Ma."

Another minutes goes by and Ma said to Pa, "Screw you Pa." Yet another minute goes by and Pa says to Ma, "Screw you Ma".

A couple of minutes go by and Pa says to Ma, "I don't know about you Ma, but I just don't get too much out of this oral sex thing......"